And now for part 2 where Steve comes clean, or at least talks about it:
So now that you've toured, recorded, shot videos, put out solo projects, etc., what was the most difficult?
SK: Probably the hardest thing I've done was our press tour that we did earlier this year, which was like everyday in a different city all around the world. It was getting up at 6:00, flying to the next place, doing thousands of interviews, trying to get to sleep, getting up at 6:00 and flying on to the next place, it was very traumatic. That was in February, March, April...I can't remember!
What was the most gratifying?
SK: I don't think any of these experiences are gratifying.
Not even your solo things?
SK: Well, the gratifying thing...well, what do you mean? When they actually come out, or the reviews I read, or...?
No, just what YOU'RE most happy with when you're alone and think about it.
SK: Well, I'm not happy with any of it!
You must be happy to an extent, at least to the point where you'd say 'this is what I'd do different, or this is something I won't do again.'
SK: I don't know. Once I've done it I sort of leave it alone and don't think about it. It's like it goes on its own way.
But you're doing what you say you've always wanted to do and you're not getting anything from it?
SK: Well, I'm starting to get some money out of it.
But you did say the music...
SK: Well, I enjoy writing music and I enjoy making albums most of the time. But sort of right now, after playing every night for so long, I'm starting to hate music. and that's a problem because the only thing in my life that I've consistently loved is music. and now I'm in a position where I'm beginning to hate the thing that I loved.
Just your music, or music in general?
SK: Well, I can't listen to anybody else's, well, in the bus we listen to music, we get stoned and listen to music, but even then I sit there and I'm listening to it and I'm going 'hmmm, they should have used more reverb on that snare drum, and...
It's like taking a film class, you can't go see a....
SK: .....film, because you're looking at the angles and how did they record that? when a writer reads somebody else's book he's looking at all the techniques that that writer's used, 'now that's and interesting simile, that's a unique paragraph' instead of reading and enjoying it! It's like when you do videos. When I watch videos now it's so ridiculous, because you know there's a guy there...y'know, most people see Bon Jovi standing there singing at the camera and they imagine, somehow, that he's singing to them, and I know that he's standing there with 9,000 people around him and a makeup girl running up putting powder on his nose and a wind machine..y'know?
Did they do the same to you with your videos?
SK: Yeah, well you know I just turn up and say 'what are we doing? Give me my guitar.' I'll stand there and mime and then I'll go home and hope for the best.
And they didn't push you beyond that?
SK: No!
So you keep a lot of control in what you do.
SK: Well no, it's sort of an anti-control. It's not control so much as they know we're difficult, if they push us too far we'll sulk and run off. So now when we do videos they sort of leave us alone.
But in that sense it counteracts as control because they know how not to treat you.
SK: I guess so. Well, it's only the sort of control a sulky little boy has at his own birthday party.
If someone was to make a movie of your life, who would you want to play you?
SK: To play me? I don't think anyone would want to play me. Who do you think would be good? Clint? I'm starting to look like him, aren't I?
How about a young Cary Grant? He's a straight man with an underlying sense of humor. How about Prince?
SK: (general laughter) Prince? I wish!!
Sting!!
SK: (puts on the calypso accent and sings...)'...you don't have to put on da red light, doze deize are ober, you don't have to sell your body to de night.'
It's funny how some artists do that, completely leave their native accent behind and pull off something completely different. So many artists adopt an American accent when they sing, but when they're speaking, you can't understand a word they're saying!
SK: It's like the Beatles isn't it?
Well, no they left a flavor of their accents in what they did.
SK: I remember seeing the Beatles' concert and they said 'This one's called (puts on a Liverpool accent, SHE LOOOOOVES YEW'! and then it's 'she loves you', well, I don't have an accent because I'm half Australian and half English, so I don't have an identifiable accent, I can bend it whichever way I like and still justify it. Sing like David Bowie and still claim I'm Australian.
If you feel so despondent right now...
SK: Right NOW, that's the key word. See, that's the problem with interviews. With my interviews the problem is, I'm honest enough to say what I feel at the time. sometimes people catch me in an incredibly elated mood and I'll be saying the Church is great and we're going to go on forever. And right now you've caught me at the tail end of a bad day, and I'm feeling really bad, and I'm saying all this stuff...but I don't...
So you'll change your mind tomorrow.
SK: Well doesn't everyone? That's the thing with an interview. See, I could just say to you...I could just be your friend and say I feel really bad and you'd understand and tomorrow I could say I feel really good. But when it actually goes in print people say 'he's a depressed fucking idiot!'
Well, then I'm glad you just said that.
SK: Is that it? Where are the personal questions?
Are you married, promised, engaged?
SK: I got married very young and it didn't work out. so now I'm divorced.
Would you get married again?
SK: No! I would never EVER get married again!
Gin: Hey Steve, marry me.
SK: All right! No, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
How old were you when you got married?
SK: Twenty-two.
Maybe it was because you felt pressured to get married.
SK: It was! Like the girl I got married to, I'm sure she didn't want to get married, it was like, all her life someone had been saying 'you should get married...you should get married...' and eventually the first eligible, sort of vaguely all right idiot that came walking along, she latched on to, and it was like, 'we're going out together-ok, steady, well, people in Australia don't say that, but the equivalent, and then it was like, let's move in together, and it's like me going 'all right.' Let's get engaged, 'allright.' Let's get married, 'all right'. So before I knew it, it was like '...this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife...!'
My god, what have I done?!
SK: And she was beautiful! Anyway she divorced me, took the proceeds of my first royalty check for "Unguarded Moment" and all the money I made off of that, and now she's one of the most successful fashion designers in Australia. But that's all right, good luck to her. Now we hardly see each other, but when we do we're extremely good friends, there's no real bad feelings.
But you don't recommend marriage.
SK: I don't recommend marriage. I don't think people are naturally monogomous and I think marriage tries to reinforce that.
The romance wears off too quickly.
SK: It's funny because you do see people who have been married for fifty years, and they still love each other, but I can't envision that happening to me because I'm sort of...
But that was fifty years ago and they were brought up in a different time and think differently about marriage.
SK: Yeah!
then there's the secrets, you find out your parents have been married for 50 years but the really can't stand each other, they've stayed together for the sake of the kids.
SK: It's like you're going to die and someone is going to give you a medal! you hear people say 'let's stay together for the sake of your marriage' and so it's as if there are 3 of you in bed: you, her, and the marriage! Like 'we don't like each other, but we don't want the marriage to find out!' so don't get married! then one day your Prince Charming will come along and you will disregard this advice!
Well, sometimes I just wonder...
SK: Wonder what? what's the stigma? That's another thing society has forced on women, that men if you're a bachelor, like I can be unmarried until I'm 50 and people will say 'Steve Kilbey, he's an eligible bachelor.' If YOU don't get married, people say...
'...old maid!'
SK: Exactly! Exactly! so you've got to fight that whole fucking thing!
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We're women who like music so we're groupies right?
SK: Groupies are like Yuppies and Hippies, you'll never meet anyone who will admit to being one! You can go up to a guy with long hair, a beard, who's dropping acid, who's favorite band is the Grateful Dead, who lives in a wigwam in the middle of the bush, and you'll say 'you're a hippie,' and he'll say 'no, I'm not!', and you'll get a girl that's sort of rooted every major group in the world and you'll say 'you're a groupie,' and she'll say 'no, I'm not!' because no one will ever admit to that! A groupie is just a girl who foolishly wants to take that step, one step further, she sort of wants a private performance!
There's still that male-female paradox.
SK: Yeah, that's why you shouldn't get married, to fight that whole thing of thinking just because you're 25 you should get married, you should not do it just for that reason.
I don't think anyone could put up with me anyway.
SK: But you don't want to be put up with, do you? I don't want to be married to someone who's putting up with me, you know what I mean? I'd hate to think that, 'Oh at least she's putting up with me,' I don't want that, I'd rather...it IS a real dilemma, isn't it?
It's important to have good friends. What one relationship can take the place of everything life has to offer? marriage can't be that great!
SK: Oh well, I won't ask you then.
Michelle: Ask me what?
SK: If you'll marry me.
No, I won't!
SK: Alright.
Are you joking? Marry a musician? Stay away from musicians, we go for the music, but we stay away from musicians!
Good idea! Stay away from the road crew is the second rule! (laughter)
How do you think your spirits will be for tonight's show?
SK: I've come to several critical points in my life y'know? I have to make some decisions, and either way I'm going to jump it's going to be bad. I have to stop smoking dope. I have to. I have to just stop, i can't keep it up. On the other hand, it's my only thing I really like doing. But I have to stop because I'm coughing up blood, I'm feeling bad everyday. I woke up this morning and said 'I'm not going to smoke anymore!'
And you did already?
SK: No, I haven't but as it's getting closer and closer to the gig, I'm thinking DOPE! And everyone's coming up to me going 'Steve we've got some dope!' and the bus driver's going 'look what I've got' and it's dope, dope, dope, dope, dope! And the whole world, me and my little pals on the bus, our whole world revolves around smoking grass!
And they said it wasn't addictive.
SK: yeah, I knew it was, and I knew that one day I'd have to give it up, but now that day has...well that day's come about 3 years ago, and now I have to stop because it's absolutely ruining me!
Can you do it?
SK: I don't think I can. I haven't been able so far!
Can't you find another?
SK: Drinking! But that's like getting out of the fire and into the frying pan! so that's an imminent looming, problem! And that's one of the decisions!
What else?
SK: Oh, some really private ones I don't want to talk about, y'know, should I henna my hair auburn or chestnut?
Are you a musician or an artist?
SK: I'm a musician. No one calls themselves artists. It's like being a poet. You let other people call you an artist or an artiste.
Would you like to be called an artist?
SK: No. I'm not.
But you said YOU don't call yourself that.
SK: That's right, but I'm not one anyway! Other people can call me that and they'd be wrong. I would never call myself that. I'm not an artist, I just stand there, and play guitar, and sing. What's so artistic about that?
But you write as well.
SK: Yeah, but that's being a writer.
Well there's the scoop, this has been very provocative and interesting!
SK: Was it? Was it really? I didn't say anything that people really want to read about me.
We're NOT going to pry or get too personal!
SK: I'm interested in what you think is prying!
I think people want to read about you and how you function around your music. Why would people want to know the "National Enquirer" version of Steve Kilbey?
SK: I think they do! I think they want to know what my vices are and who I'm having sex with.
We already know what your vices are, so who are you having sex with?
SK: I can't say! (laughs) No, no one at the moment!
Has the AIDS issue changed your lifestyles?
SK: Some people don't seem to have changed at all, and some have.
Does it frighten you?
SK: Umm, yeah, of course! I mean fucking...who wants to get AIDS? But I'm just as frightened of getting cancer, I'm just as frightened of dying in a car crash. Any form of death frightens me! AIDS would be a particularly nasty way to go, I imagine. But since I'm not homosexual, I don't use intravenous drugs, I haven't had a blood transfusion, or been to Haiti, and I'm not a hemophiliac, I would imagine I'm relatively in a low risk group, but I don't know. I might have it now, you might have it just by sitting here talking to me. Have you had a blood test? You might have it. Why haven't you had a blood test? You don't want to find out!
It is changing people!
SK: I don't think it's changing them very much! I think a lot of them are thinking heterosexuals don't get it and doing what the've always done. Perhaps they wear rubbers.
(a semi-serious moment of silence wraps around the room...)
SK: So, I guess that's it then!
Yes Steve, you're off the hook!