No offense is intended by these songs
11th April 1997
Earthed@geocities.com has done a parody of Lost
Sometimes I'm wandering under prehistoric skies
I feel there’s a pterodactyl after my eyes
I must go back - left my house keys behind
Here she comes with her penetrating stare
She looked at my mind and saw how much was there
Quick calculation - there's not nearly enough
CHORUS
Because we're lost
Have we got cash?
Cold desert stars
Feel them fall from the sky
I want some pie
Follow her down to worship some god
Who tells me i’m pretentious
- i wonder if that's odd
Then he says, 'You're never listening'
'The pursuit of adulation is your marg and your bread
It's an exquisite corpse and its lips are red
But it don’t go well on toast
CHORUS
And you are lost
Where is your map?
Now hang up 'cause
Madonna’s on hold
She is so bold’
If you're alone and you're feeling blue
Everyone in Persia probably’s eating stew
I just hope they don’t get stuff in their beards
Here she comes with her unforgiving web
This Gothic look is really scraping the dregs
It must be time to change our hair care, stare
CHORUS
Oh yes we’re lost
Where are my keys?
Look at the map
Now add up the cost
Do they take Visa?
28th March 1996
Here's Glen Thomas' Grinchillusionist
He's sour and he's cranky
Mean as well as lanky
On a day like today
Scowling from his sleigh
He's like a gecko on steroids
More than a little paranoid
Thieving all the goodies
While you think "how could he?"
He can turn dogs into reindeer
Spoil all the day's cheer
Bet you he'll eat well
While he pockets your dinner bell
They say that he's ugly
From the head down
And the "heart" part of his body is a corpse
But in the end he's sweet
And gives back all the treats
On Christmas, the Grinch, he's no longer warped
It's missing phrases, I know. Not my best literary effort, and definitely proof that I need a life. More verses, anyone?
"Internet Fever" - It'll push up the sales
Can you quote Python and the Holy Grail ?
Read about whales or read about Wales, got to
Make my own home page
Hear
Sounds sent from Sweden to here
"Thïs is my døg drïnkïng beer"
Flames come first as a scathing flood
"RTFM you thick newbie dud !" This is the shedding of Internet blood
It's happening, I think
Once was nerdy
Click, click, link, MGET
Now it's groovy
Inside the trendy Internet
She offers file transfers to me
Ships all her warez FTP
Do not ask for whom tolls the bell
As millions connect to find out for themselves
That there's bugger all here, 'cept what you put here yourself, and it's
Owned by Bill Gates Inc.
Once was nerdy
Click, click, link, MGET
Now it's groovy
Inside the trendy Internet
Immovable streaks from where the dog peed
They make me want to turn to drink
If we work the long nights we'll get them out of sight
Soak 'em in bleach and it'll be alright
Altering corsets, it numbs my brain
Questionable sauces
Only ketchup stains, ketchup stains....
(Note: Yes, I wrote that just to get the last two lines into some kind of context :) )
Metropolis
(You need to know that Marty doesn't know how to drive a car)
There'll never be another quite like me
I'm in The Church and my name's Steve Kilbey
I'm always sad, I'll never be happy
Cos I write songs but don't know what they mean
Back in a minibus, it smells like a wrestler's truss
Our next gig's in a shop
It gets monotonous, no-one wants to tour with us
Please come back Ploog and Koppes
Things ain't so good since those two guys left us
Our contract's gone and things are getting rough
If they come back I'd let them do their thing
But I'd draw the line at letting Peter sing
Back in acoustic mode, we like doing two-man shows
We can do all our songs
Give me a microphone, I will sing in monotone
With Marty strumming along
Back on the stage we go, we won't do Unguarded Mo'
But which song should we do ?
Let's do "Grind" really slow, hey, where'd the audience go ?
There's just no pleasing them two
And it's only a smoke away
I'll be there toni-i-i-ight
Find the meaning I'm sure was there
When I wrote it last night
To hell with life, it's over, stop the ride
I'm sick of it, I'm going to suicide
Should I use a gun or a gleaming knife ?
Bugger it ! I'll just let Marty drive !
Reputation (Destination)
Our instruments have no way of measuring your feelings
Can never peer into your mind to see what you believe in
In the space between our albums, your memory of us fading
If you buy this record our careers you will be saving
Reputation, reputation
Draconian charts let us know
How well we have done, how well we have sold
Our contract is safe, the album went "Gold"
Our reputation starting to grow
Our interviews are useless or forged beyond believing
Rolling Stone made up some lies, we'll sue them by this evening
In the space between my brain cells some songs have been discovered
Rush into the studio, record them, sell them, try to help our...
....Reputation, reputation
It's not a religion, despite our name
Though Peter and Marty act like Abel and Cain
And Kilbey and Ploog always fight over drugs
Is reputation helped by this stuff ?
Our engineers are burnt out, our roadies are mistreated
I tell you it's the only way this record will be completed
In the space between our concerts our hearing is diminished
We can't go on if we can't tell who's playing and who's finished
Reputation, reputation
Violent Town (the LA tribute removed from Starfish)
(To the tune of...you guessed it...Violet Town)
Smashing his face against the ground
They said "Welcome back to Violent Town
You look kind of strange, so you must pay
Get out of my face and "Have a nice day !"
When I'm here I have this feeling
I wish I could go from Violent Town
Buildings throw shade to freeze the ground
It's cold when you walk through Violent Town
Don't look in their eyes, they'll take offense
And probably sue for recompense
Rpt. Chorus
Big truth progress, it's all around
They're so advanced here in Violent Town
Boys with bazookas, girls with grenades
Bribe cops with credit cards or pay cash and save !
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